Many years ago, I heard a story about a merchant looking for a new captain for his ship. The first applicant has a peg leg, a hook for a hand and a patch over his right eye.

The merchant says, "Well you certainly look the part, how did you lose your leg?"

Says the captain, "Pirates fired a cannon ball over the bridge and blew off me leg".

"And how about your hand, how did that happen?".

Says the captain, "Aye, was in a mighty sword fight with the pirates and off with me hand."

Says the merchant, "and the eye?"

To which the captain replies, "Twas in a mighty blow off the Tortugas when I looked up at the mainsail and just then a passing bird pfffted in me eye."

Says the merchant, "And that made you blind?"

"No," says the captain, "First day with me new hook."