"Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose."
    -- A sign in a Swiss hotel.

"Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time."
    -- A sign in a laundry in Rome.

"Members and non-members only."
    -- A sign outside Mexico City's Mandinga Disco in the Hotel Emporio.

"Don't get into this."
    -- A sign in Japan with the universal "do not enter" symbol.

"We are thinking that 'How to management' is more important than 'What for sell'. We want to realize that is 'It's well that!' that is our opinion."
    -- On the cover of a photo shop's envelopes for newly developed film.

"Deposit: The owner asks for a deposit of 25.000 ptas as a guarantee for the flat. This amount will be returned at the end of your stay if any damage has been done."
    -- A sign in a Spanish hotel.

"Please leave your values at the front desk."
    -- A sign in a Paris hotel.

"Let's skiing."
    -- A sign in a ski chalet in Nagano, Japan.

"Dah Wong Path."
    -- A sign for a park path in Hong Kong.

"You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday."
    -- A sign in a Moscow hotel across the street from a Russian Orthodox monastery.

"Please waste."
    -- Signs on trash cans in an amusement park in Osaka, Japan.

"The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid."
    -- A sign in a Yugoslavian hotel.

"Specialist in women and other diseases."
    -- A sign outside of Roman doctor's office.

"If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it."
    -- A sign on the door of a Moscow hotel room.

"Is forbidden to steal towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis."
    -- A sign in a Tokyo hotel.

"Dresses for street walking."
    -- A sign outside a Paris dress shop.

"Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."
    -- A sign in a Rhodes tailor shop.

"The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."
    -- A sign in a Bucharest hotel lobby.

"Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists."
    -- From an advertisement by a dentist in Hong Kong.

"Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
    -- A sign in a Budapest zoo.