Sign over a Gynecologist's office:
      "Dr. Jones, at your cervix"

In a Podiatrist's office:
      "Time wounds all heels"
      
On a Septic Tank Truck:
      "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"
      
At a Proctologist's door:
      "To expedite your visit, please back in."
      
On a Plumber's truck:
      "We repair what your husband fixed."
      
On another Plumber's truck:
      "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
      
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
      "Invite us to your next blowout."
      
At a Towing company:
      "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
      
On an Electrician's truck:
      "Let us remove your shorts."
      
In a Nonsmoking Area:
      "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
      
On a Maternity Room door:
      "Push. Push. Push."
      
At an Optometrist's Office:
      "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
      
On a Taxidermist's window:
      "We really know our stuff."
      
On a Fence:
      "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
      
At a Car Dealership:
      "The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment."
      
Outside a Muffler Shop:
      "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
      
In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
      "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
      
At the Electric Company
      "We'll be delighted if you send in your payment.  But if you don't, you will be."
      
In a Restaurant window:
      "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."
      
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
      "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
      
And don't forget the sign at a Chicago radiator shop:
      "Best place in town to take a leak."